What does a quarrel look like? It can take many forms. Quarrels have moved beyond disagreement to the realm where it affects our relationship with the other person. When a disagreement becomes a quarrel, we find ourselves defensive. We may see that right or wrong determines our value as a person. Emotions rise up in a quarrel and many times a quarrel ends a relationship. Quarrels are tools of the enemy.
Paul addresses disagreements. “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. ” (2 Timothy 2:23–26, NIV84)
What is a foolish and stupid argument? The Greek word foolish speaks to things that are godless. The Greek word for stupid speaks to that which is uneducated and ignorant. Many times people may have an opinion, but they fail to seek a Scriptural basis for that opinion. When they defend their opinion without Scripture it becomes foolish and ignorant.
We should not quarrel and argue about things we disagree about. Disagreements happen because we are all in different stages in our walk with the Lord. My understanding of the Lord has grown over the years I have been a believer. I grew from knowing Jesus as my Savior to also knowing Him as my Healer. I grew in understanding about water baptism and also the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I grew in my hunger and I grew in my passion. I grew in trusting Him to provide for me, and to care for my emotional wounds. I grew in how I prayed and in how I experienced God.
We establish that salvation is through the cross of Christ alone. We establish that salvation is a gift from God and an act of God’s grace and His mercy. If you disagree, I will not quarrel, but I also cannot have fellowship as believers. Everything else that we may disagree with, we should not allow that to divide us. We may disagree about many things, but we do not need to quarrel about them.
Paul exhorts Timothy that the Lord’s servant must not quarrel. The one who is mature must show restraint. The one who is immature will press their point because they have a need to be right. The leader, the spiritually mature one, must be kind to the quarreler. The leader takes the time to teach the truth from Scripture with the hope that the one who needs to grow will learn and grow.
I learned long ago to tell people who disagreed with what God was doing in my life that I would discuss it with them from Scripture. If they disagreed with me and their opinion was different than mine, I would only discuss it from the perspective of Scripture. I found that the majority of those who quarreled did not want to take the time to look at Scripture. They were merely argumentative and divisive. From those people I separated. Those who took the time to look at Scripture did not always agree with me. However because we both believed and honored the Word of God we were able to walk in love even as we disagreed. Love helped us to both grow and learn together.
