How we live life is based on our decisions. Everything we do is a decision. By our choices, we will decide if we will live with joy and love or if we will live with anger and bitterness. It is our choice to live successfully or to embrace failure. Jesus spoke about how we choose to live. “”Consider carefully what you hear,” he continued. “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” ” (Mark 4:24–25, NIV84)
This verse applies to many aspects of our lives. Traditionally people teach about giving with this. If we give to others with a good measure, we will receive of a good measure. I believe that this verse has much to teach us about living relationally as well.
There are some people who seem to have many good friendships. They have learned the principle of the measure. They listen. They extend love. They are full of grace. They give out kindness. They want the people around them to grow and to succeed. Their measure that they use with people is full of life, love and joy. Because they extend life to people around them, people are attracted to them. It seems that as they share life and love, there is always more life flowing.
As we give into the lives of others, we receive. We grow. We prosper.
There are other people who seem to struggle relationally. I watch these people and I see their measure is small. Perhaps they have been wounded, but they fail to extend love and grace. They blame others for their lack of joy. They see the success of others as a threat to their success. These people seem to have difficulties making relationships work. Perhaps the reason is that they cannot open their own hearts. They withhold love, life and joy because they are afraid to give away the little bit they have. They end up continuing to withdraw from people.
As we withhold from others in order to preserve ourselves, we find we lack. We shrink. We suffer.
Many times those who have a difficult time with relationships do so because they have suffered a betrayal and a wounding. They are afraid to trust. There is a truth to be learned. To the extent that you can open your heart to reveal the wounds and the pain inside to others is the extent that you will be able to receive love, forgiveness and healing in your heart from others. To the extent that you can open your heart to others and give of yourself will be the measure of your growth.
